Closure

I've never really been good with this, but it's been such a blessing from God to finally have closure with Malachi over what happened.  The first time we talked today, we were able to discuss some things, and I felt a lot better afterwards.  We came to an understanding about things, and I think both of us were glad to have a peaceful ending.  And then.... anti-closure.  He called again saying that what we are doing is stupid, and that he wants me back.  And that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.  I was so upset!  I felt like he'd just thrown our previous conversation out the window.  He tried telling me how he'd been praying a lot about it and he thinks we should get back together.  How could he do this?  How could he put me in that kind of position?  Of course I said no, and that I would pray about it, but I was so frustrated and confused.

From there I went straight to dinner.  Nothing like going from complete uncertainty and frustration into a social situation :P  I left early from dinner so I could get back to my room to seek God's will.  I sat on my bed with my Bible and computer open.  In a Word document I went through the "worksheet" from yesterday, trying to figure out how I felt.  I still wasn't hearing from God, and that just added to my frustration.  Talk about pressure!  I have to decide whether to stay broken up with my boyfriend or get back together, and God was keeping quiet.  NOT HELPFUL.  I mean, I'm trying to seek God and what He has for me.  And He was the one who told me to break up in the first place.  *sigh*  I did feel a little better after figuring out all my feelings and what I needed to do, though.  Though I knew I needed to pray, I felt God was saying that I needed to just rest for a bit, so I left everything out and took a nap.  I woke up just in time to leave for a track event with my friends, but when we found out it was cancelled I was able to return to my room and pray.  I may not have been the nicest to God in the beginning, but thank goodness He is patient and forgiving!  In His still, small voice I received my answer.  There was a good reason we broke up, and it needs to stay that way for a bit.  I had complete peace about it; the moment was beautiful.

I was nervous about calling Malachi back and discussing this with him, but God was at work again.  Malachi was understanding, he listened to everything I had to say, and he even apologized for his last call.  We came to an even better understanding, and even discussed a couple concerns about each other before leaving.  We left in peace, and had true closure about it all.  I was able to tell a couple of my teammates about it, and I was happy the rest of the night.  All I can say is, I know that God is faithful.