Consistency

I told him there needs to be consistency.  He told me how he wanted to change, and I told him I needed to see those consistency with those changes before we can get back together.  But how do I measure consistency?  By time?  If so, then how long do I wait?  That's how I wanted to do it; just give it time, and if things are meant to work out then they will.  But that's so indefinite, and I am not a patient person.  It's so hard to measure by time anyways.  What if all the changes I'm looking for are fixed and things are going well?  How long do I wait?  How do I define consistency in that circumstance?

How else would I define consistency?  What should I be looking for?  I guess I'm confused by the standards I set.  I suppose I don't really know what I AM looking for.  I just want things to be better.  I don't want to get back together and fall into the same old pattern.  I don't want to resume dating and have things stop improving because "things are good enough now."

Prayers and wisdom are appreciated.

What to say?

There is absolutely, positively TOO MUCH to say to be able to write about it all.  So, I'll try to hit on the most important parts.

* Malachi and I have been talking more and continuing to pray.  I still love him, and at this point we will probably get back together when I return from the missions trip.  God has given me peace about this.
* Chelsea went to Gull Lake for camp training.  I miss her already :/
* I've learned that it's okay to be angry at God.  He can take it.  He'll still follow through with His promises and love you just the same.  (Just don't hold on to that anger too long)
* I told my parents I was doing something instead of asking them, and it went well!
* I read about ~250 pages of Ted Dekker's Immanuel's Veins in one day.  It was well over half the book, but I just had to finish it!  DEFINITELY RECOMMEND!
* I made no-bake cookies for the first time ever today!  I think they turned out well....  I hope they turned out well....  I made them as payment for a friend of the family who altered a dress for me.  Wouldn't it be awesome to get paid in cookies?!
* Hung out with my best friend today.... it went well.  She profusely apologized for the way she treated Malachi and me with our relationship last year.  I told her that I am not bitter, just frustrated.  Things weren't too awkward when we visited her boyfriend before I took her to work.

Well, tomorrow I leave for IWU to meet up with my World Impact team.  Watch the clock!  We fly out of Chicago at 7:35am to begin our trip to Haiti!  There was this song I remember my hearing the song "Come Expecting Jesus."  The first couple lines go:

"I come expecting Jesus
 To meet me in this place
 I come expecting to receive
 His mercy and His grace"

This is my prayer and the attitude of my heart for this trip.  May God use me to glorify Him, in any way He deems best.